Top 17 What The Fuck Moments From WWE Smackdown 13 Aug 2015

17. Seth Rollins, Huge Rolling Stones Fan?

 

Once again, Smackdown began with Seth Rollins cutting a fairly lengthy heel promo, this time bragging about his escape from Raw with the WWE Championship. He again used inventive imagery to describe John Cena’s nose, explaining that he turned him into “surrealist art”.

The most baffling moment of the promo came when Rollins began comparing himself to greats from other mediums. Babe Ruth and Michael Jordan were name-dropped, as well as the Rolling Stones and Beatles. This could just be personal opinion, but Seth’s decision to name the Stones first is slightly strange, given the immense pop culture influence of the Fab Four. Maybe he’s a big fan.

16. Last Night On Tough Enough…

We were treated to a Tough Enough flashback, which saw John Cena debut his bright orange look and accepted Seth Rollins’ SummerSlam challenge. This may have seemed a smooth decision at the time, elevating the show via the appearance of the company’s biggest superstar, but there was a crucial flaw to the WWE’s logic.

To have Cena appear on a “real” show and discuss the merits of each contestant, before switching to kayfabe logic and calling out Rollins as a legitimate rival, made for an incredibly inconsistent segment. At least the match has finally been confirmed, and the medical staff look to have worked wonders on his nose.

15. “In Despite Of That”

 

Neville was never going to be the best microphone worker, and sadly proved it during this opening segment. Coming from a similar are to the former NXT Champion myself, I can understand how his accent can sometimes be difficult to decipher, and he didn’t help himself by stumbling over his words either.

It was a fairly unconfident promo, one dragged along by Rollins’ superior mic skills (and a generous crowd eager to pop for Neville), but its lowest moment by far came in the form of the phrase “in despite of that”. Whoops.

14. “You Just Go On And On And On And On…”

 

Last week, Cesaro ridiculed Rollins for “going on and on and on and on” in his aggrandising promos. This week Neville accused Seth of doing exactly the same, which was followed up by Cesaro coming out to agree with him. It’s incredibly depressing that in 2015, the writing team can’t come up with a more original babyface promo.

To make matters worse, it seems as though the wrestlers have been instructed to get the crowd to chant along, presumably with the goal of having a whole arena mock Rollins’ tendency to “go on and on and on and on”. It’s an annoying trend, and hopefully one the WWE drops before too long.

13. Kevin Owens Attacks (From Outta Nowhere!)

 

This one was a legitimate surprising moment, as Cesaro was jumped by Kevin Owens, who absolutely barrelled down the ramp to meet him with force. The fact that Owens flew in from out of shot made for a very brief moment of confusion, one which could have even led viewers to believe that a fan had jumped the barricade and attacked.

In fairness, the WWE are probably implementing even tighter security than usual with regards to crowd control. The shocking assault of Roman Reigns at a recent house show (in which a fan threw a Money In The Bank-style briefcase at his head) is a stark reminder of the risk each wrestler takes when stepping into the ring. Luckily the former Shield member was unhurt.

12. Stephanie McMahon Would Be Proud

Charlotte has definitely been encouraged to play up to her father’s legendary legacy by “woo”ing at every possible opportunity, but her Smackdown opponent Naomi has clearly tired of this trend already. The former NXT Women’s Champion’s “woo!” was met with a stinging slap to the face, one which gave the match some added spice from the off.

Charlotte returned the favour, catching Naomi with an even harder blow later in the match. While the bout itself was pretty lacklustre, its good to see that the divas are keen to add a little fire to a divison which has been disappointingly bland for years now.

11. Incessant Catchphrases

 

Speaking of Charlotte’s “woo”ing, is anybody else already starting to get sick of it? The fact that she’s Ric Flair’s daughter has been well established now, and the taunt is starting to creep into her matches more and more. In fact, it’s as though every diva in the current ‘revolution’ feud has been given a sole, one-dimensional character trait, and encouraged to push it as much as possible.

Naomi did the same “Team BAD” arm taunt several times in the same match too. Hopefully once this feud is over, the new girls’ gimmicks continue to develop and grow, otherwise WWE fans could merely be left with a new batch of weak characters to replace the old ones.

 

10. Naomi Amuses Herself With An X-Pac Impression

 

At one point in the match, Naomi celebrated a successful bulldog by hitting a follow-up Bronco Buster on nobody. It was awesome.

9. More Jimmy Uso Commentary Faces

 

Last week, I included a page dedicated to Jimmy Uso’s love of making “commentary faces”. The former tag team champion seems to get quickly bored when Tom Phillips is running down the card or hyping the next PPV, and amuses himself by making odd faces and hand gestures to the camera.

Well, he was very much at it again this week. Here he is telling the audience that SummerSlam will be four hours long (in his own special way). In fairness to Jimmy, his actual work as a colour commentator isn’t half bad, and he’s certainly a lot more energetic and enthusiastic than Lawler. Maybe he’s found a future career path after he hangs up his boots.

8. Ryback Shows His Staph Infection On The TitanTron

 

The most gruesome moment of the show came during Ryback’s (fairly bland) comeback promo, one in which he hyped his match at SummerSlam, thanked the fans for supporting him throughout his injury woes…and put a picture of his staph infection up on the TitanTron!?

Although the use of the image was clearly intended to show how serious an infection Ryback had overcome, it was also pretty damn graphic.

7. A Handy Caption

 

The Wyatt Family cut a short promo before Luke Harper’s match with Roman Reigns, and just incase anybody had forgotten who the hulking henchman was, his name was mysteriously spelled out for no reason during his mic time.

If this was intended to be a subtle example of Wyatt’s mystical powers, it fell some way off the mark. Harper instead looked like he was appearing on some sort of midday talk show, his name etched in adorable sparkles on the screen. The font was slightly creepy in fairness, but if they really wanted to horrify, the production team should have opted for comic sans instead.

6. More Imitators During Roman Reigns’ Ring Walk

 

Last week we saw an amazing Sheamus impersonator lurking in the crowd during Roman Reigns’ entrance, and this week spoiled us with two more fancy dress efforts!

It’s not immediately obvious, but at the bottom of the image you can make out the unmistakable attire of Fandango and Stone Cold Steve Austin – something of an odd couple. Reigns’ ring walk continues to be a fruitful source of ‘WTF’ material, which begs the question: what on earth is going to happen next week?

5. Big E. Langston’s Dancing Face

 

4. Everyone Picks On Xavier Woods

 

Everyone loves a good “let’s gang up on the snivelling heel!” spot, especially when it’s aimed at a bad guy as loudmouthed as Xavier Woods. The New Day member found himself alone on the ramp, surrounded by three rival tag teams in the forms of Los Matadores, the Lucha Dragons, and the Prime Time Players. He did what any good heel would do, and begged for mercy. They, in turn, did what any good babyface would do, and ignored his pleas.

In a very fun moment, Woods was unceremoniously hoisted into the ring and blasted with Darren Young’s gut check finisher, giving the tag team champions a big win heading into their title defence at SummerSlam.

3. Unhappy Landings

 

The main event saw Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins take on Neville and Cesaro in a re-hash of the episode’s opening brawl, and a match which turned out to be pretty decent (for a Smackdown main event, anyway). The biggest spot of the match – certainly the most painful looking – was Owens’ back suplex on Neville, driving the Englishman into the crowd barricade with a sickening thud.

Neville did a great job in this match of playing the face-in-peril, teasing the crowd with numerous failed attempts at a hot tag. Eventually Cesaro barrelled in and cleared house, but was rolled up by Rollins for the cheap win. The heels attempted a post-match beatdown, but the babyfaces fought them off and stood tall to end the show in a happy manner. Then the fun began…

2. N’awwww

 

Who says WTF Moments can’t be heartwarming too? After Smackdown went off air, Cesaro and Neville spent some time entertaining the crowd at ringside. The Swiss babyface spotted a particularly relevant sign, one paying tribute to his recovering tag partner Tyson Kidd.

Cesaro’s stock has risen noticeably since breaking out as a singles star, but he still saw fit to pay tribute to his Canadian buddy. Here’s hoping that Kidd can recover from his surgery in speedy fashion and make a successful return to the ring. He is an underrated worker of immense in-ring talent, and is certainly missed by many.

1. Yeah He’s “Not Catching On”, Vince

 

Many Cesaro fans have long been frustrated at the former indie darling’s lack of a push in the WWE, but he’s really began to make the most of his opportunities since turning babyface.

 After posing with the Tyson Kidd sign, he also spent some time taking selfies with a group of delighted fans in the front row. Just look at that enthusiastic reaction to a superstar Vince is rumoured to have held back because he “won’t catch on”.

If this episode of Smackdown has taught us anything, it’s that Cesaro is destined for big things in the next year or so. He consistently garnered huge crowd reactions, more than many supposedly bigger names on the card, and is clearly dedicated to making the fans happy. Hopefully those within the WWE pay attention to just how much the crowd loves him, because he certainly has the ability and charisma to go far.